If your teenage daughter comes to you and very nervously utters the phrase that changes both of your lives - ‘Mum, I’m pregnant’ - it's a situation that you may not have considered yourself ever to be a part of. The initial shock and worry that comes with hearing those words can be difficult emotions to manage. We hope this article gives some helpful guidance to what options are out there for discreet support for your daughter.
It goes without saying that you want to be there for your child and how you react and how you respond will help guide her through her options. If she's come to you, it's because she's terrified and she needs your help. So it's at this time to leave the questions and any judgement or anger at bay and focus on her needs. It couldn't have been easy to come and say that to you. And while teenage pregnancies are much less common than they used to be, they do still happen.
Here are some helpful suggestions that may guide you both during this transitional time:
As a parent it goes without saying that you want to be there to support your daughter. However, sometimes the shock of whats just happened can trigger the want to ask lots of 'how did this happen?' questions but try if you can to reframe from this as you don't want to push your daughter away when she needs you. The positive is that if found early your daughter has lots of options, and it's very important that you talk her through what her options are. For example, it could be the best decision to keep and celebrate having the baby, or with lots of support you may decide to put the baby up for adoption. These are big decisions that need time to process and discuss so please reach out to all the helpful support groups and networks for teenage pregancies before a decision is made. If after lots of support and discussion's its decided that you would prefer to terminate the pregnancy you can get an abortion by post through regulated CQC services or reach out to your local GP for support and advice. Please note having abortion pills delivered can ensure that your daughter is comfortable and secure at home, but its essential that you still take her to a doctor anyway for guidance and to make sure its safe to do so.
Before any decision is acted on you need to confirm that your teenage daughter is pregnant. When you do take her to a doctor, confirm the pregnancy. Teenagers often have periods that are out of whack, so if she doesn't remember the date of her last period or she doesn't write them down, you need to be able to date the pregnancy. She can't go through with an abortion if she's too far along. This is where she will have different decisions to make as to whether she keeps the baby that she's pregnant with or if she decides to go down the adoption route. There's no guarantee that she really is pregnant, especially if she's sexually active but has irregular periods.
Get comfortable with her decision. You may want to march her to the abortion clinic and get her an abortion as soon as possible, but that's not always going to be the best outcome. There is every chance that she won't want to go through with one, and that is absolutely fine because it is her body and her choice. It's also important that you impress upon her what the consequences of her choice will be. Taking care of her baby is not easy, it's not cheap, and it is going to change her life. This is not going to be a real life dolly that you're going to look after while she carries on with her friends like nothing happened. You do need to get comfortable with whichever decision she makes. You may not agree with an abortion, and she still may want one anyway, and that's OK. Again, her body, her choice.
Keep your emotions under control and seek your own support if you need As a parent, you're going to go through an entire rainbow of emotions about this, and that's OK, but you need to keep them away from your hormonal and newly pregnant child. Once it's been confirmed, there's going to be a lot going on, so you need to make sure that for the sake of your relationship with your daughter and her mental health, that you watch what you say.
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